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A Personal Update & God's Faithfulness

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
— Ecclesiastes 3

Over the past few months I’ve sat down to write this update well over a dozen times, and every time I’ve pretty much drawn a complete and total blank.

As I’ve tried and failed to get the words out, I found solace in the scripture above…that there is a time for everything under heaven, including a time to be a quiet and a time to speak.

These past few months have been a time to be quiet. But now, I’m finally ready to speak.

Since our big move to Charleston, SC at the end of January I have been fighting through the hardest, most painful season of my adult life alongside my husband Andrew and our four girls.

What I thought would be an exciting season of adventure and new beginnings has felt more like having the ground disappear from under me, leaving me free-falling through a sea of overwhelming pain, trauma, heartache, grief, anxiety, confusion, and deep sorrow.

Van Kirk Family | The Better Life Project™

As we worked to navigate the obvious challenges of settling into a new city, managing existing businesses, taking over a new one, and homeschooling the kids, our lives, marriage, and family were capsized by the realization that Andrew has continued in his struggle with sexual addiction of over two decades, and the awareness that we needed to finally address it properly.

In the weeks since this revelation we’ve been immensely blessed by an outpouring of love, prayer, wise counsel and support as we’ve taken the necessary steps to begin the long road of recovery and pursue healing for ourselves, our marriage, and our family.

Some days I struggled to pull myself out of bed. Some days I could hardly bear to leave the house. Some days I wanted to run away, hide, and give up completely. And there were many, many days I felt like I’d completely lost my mind.

Yet, the Lord has been so good and so faithful to help me through every step of this painful journey, remaining a steadfast source of strength, peace, hope, and even joy through it all.

His mercies have been new each and every morning, and we’ve already begun to see the good fruit of growth and healing in this story of restoration God is weaving together in our lives.

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.
— John 16:33

Moving forward, I have no idea what life is going to look like for us. But we are more committed than ever to trusting God, his promises, and his plans for our lives, whatever they may be.

As these challenges have unfolded and I’ve had to unexpectedly take time away from the public eye to press into the Lord, fight for my family, and do the work of healing and recovery, I’ve been completely blown away by the love and support I’ve received from so many of you.

I can’t tell you how many messages of love, concern, well wishes, and prayers I’ve received over the past few months, all of which God has used to minister to my aching heart and world-weary soul in moments I desperately needed fresh hope and a reminder that God is good and faithful.

For that, I can hardly begin to express the depth of my gratitude. Thank you, thank you, thank you - and keep the prayers coming!

My precious husband, for whom I’m deeply grateful, is wholeheartedly committed to this journey of recovery and restoration, and we are all equally committed to walking it out alongside him, whatever the road ahead may look like.

It’s with his courageous blessing and encouragement that I share the specifics of this update.

Van Kirk Family | The Better Life Project™

Because we know none of us is ever alone in the challenges we face in our lives, we never shy away from sharing what we’re facing and how God has carried and grown us through our struggles, both past and present.

My mission has always been to simply meet you, right where you’re at, with fresh hope, wisdom and encouragement to carry you forward in your journey to live well for God’s glory.

And so, through the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful, I want you to know I’m right here walking through it all with you, praising God every step of the way as he molds us and shapes us to more fully experience the gift of abundant life in Christ.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
— Ephesians 3:20-21

I love each of you to the moon and back. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for walking this out with me. Love, Kelsey x